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The Power of Authentic Listening

October 29, 2010

Have you noticed when listening to anybody, whether it be your folks, siblings, friends, fellow workers, your partner or others, that the noise of you thoughts or your personal needs lingers while you listen, diminishing the quality as well as the clarity of your listening. Your ability to  be fully there with “all hear” is hampered. When that occurs (and it happens frequently and daily with most people), do you really listen or you only hear what is being said?.

While hearing is the superficial act of receiving information, listening is the art of intuitive attention one gives to the communicator with the intention to understand the complete message while giving the communicator the feeling that he/she is not only heard but understood. Authentic listening accrues when we diminish the noise of our ego centered thoughts. It happens when we are consciously present and we show  an empathic,non- judgmental connectedness with the communicator.

If you want people to feel positive and open up to you, show them a sincere interest in what they say rather than a superficial attention that is dominated by your self-centered thoughts or needs. When you show a sincere curiosity to what the expresser have to say and sanitize yourself to his/her concerns, you would be perceived  as a person who values the expresser’s message,takes it seriously and sees it as an important communication. People want to feel that they are understood, that what they express counts. They want to be taken seriously and feel that what they express is fully embraced and absorbed by the listener.

The practice of intuitive listening thus is vital and can make a different between a relationship that is combative and stale to one that is fired up with passion and deep bonding. It contributes to increasing affinity and closeness. It is the basis from which intimate bond between partners is transformed and transcended, shifting from self involvement and disconnect to a heightened state of awareness and wholeness.

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